My Year



“She does not beg, force, or chase. She prays, works, and has faith...”
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Proverbs 31:10- “She is worth far more than rubies...”
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I’ve never had much self value. I also generally don’t chase after people who have left, because I assume I’m not enough, and they are better off without me. One of the songs I wrote this year is literally titled, “Better as a memory”, because I am convinced that’s all I am- a memory... and with The New Year drawing close, I found myself staring at the sealing, on yet another sleepless night- going over the events of the year...
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I turned 21, celebrated my 2 year wedding anniversary, experienced the bitter sweat taste of having a dear friend back(just for a moment), started THE job I’ve been searching for, had someone say they loved my voice & had someone tell me to never sing again, hunted every weekend, almost lost a family member to cancer, did a bible study over facebook with 2 Canadians, grew close to an old buddy during a rough time of his life, had a new friend come to Christ after 3 years of sharing the gospel with her...
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All these memories and so much more- yet the moment I’ve clung to most from this year- was when I realized I wasn’t making time for God. I went to church and I prayed- but I forgot to make quality time for God and I. I forgot to turn to God when I was crying on my bathroom floor after reading the most painful goodbye message, I forgot to turn to God when I almost lost another loved one to cancer, I forgot to turn to God when my buddy was beside me lost and confused, I forgot to turn to God for so many things... but God never forgot to heal me, save me, or protect me... God never forgot me... When I saw a dull girl in the mirror, He saw a gleaming gem. I found my worth in Him, I found my love through Him, And I found my hope because of Him...
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Don’t forget that we have an awesome God y’all. Because of Him, we have a new Year of chances and surprises ahead. And I plan to spend that year focusing on my faith and on myself for once... the best way to reach people around you, is to let them see the change in you- let them see your words and God’s word alive in you...

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