Modesty for my God, my Self, and my Husband

1 Corinthians 12:23 ESV, "And on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty..."
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1 Timohty 2:9 ESV, "Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self- control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire..."
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Romans 14:12-23 ESV, "Therefore let us not pass judgement on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean."



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So a common topic this week seems to be modesty. It has been brought up in many conversations I have been a part of lately, so I figured it was time I do a post about it!
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I have been asked recently why I dress so modestly. Which honestly, is quite the compliment, because sometimes I think I can dress pretty immodestly. The fact that those same outfits are considered "modest" in the public eye, greatly concerns me. Maybe I am being too harsh on myself- I don't know- it is just a personal conviction. To me, modesty is honoring God and making sure that I am being a good representative of Him at all times. My logic is, if the Rapture happened at this very moment, is what I am wearing something that God would approve of? Or would I feel ashamed to be seen by my Creator?
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I want to address 3 topics in this post: Modesty for God, Modesty for Self, and Modestly for my Husband.
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First off- Modesty for God. I had someone say to me, "I get dressing modestly when it is appropriate(meaning church, work, etc) but it is too stressful for me to be ALWAYS worried about what I am wearing..." This comment honestly is what birthed my decision to write this post. As Christians, we need to keep ourselves constantly in check- and we can only do this with Christ's help. We are God's billboards. As His children, our job is to share His gospel with the world- which, let's be honest, isn't always easy. Take the disciples for example. Do you think they reached as many people as they did by being normal, and fitting in with the "it" crowd? No! They went against the flow. They stood out in a way that made people say, "Why are they different? Why are they so happy in the midst of their suffering? How do they have hope?" Yes, this caused them to be ridiculed and mocked by many, but those who came to know Christ because of it- made it more than worth it. This birthed the questions: Is what we are wearing, saying, or doing, glorifying God? Are our actions and appearance Christ like or worldly? If someone saw me in a sexy and revealing outfit, or heard me cussing up a storm, or getting drunk and flirting with other men, would they see a child of God or just another member of the world?
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Second- Modesty for Self. Growing up I was told I needed to dress modestly to hide the parts of my body that I should be ashamed of. But God makes it very clear that our bodies are a gift. They are beautiful and wonderful, and something we should cherish, not flaunt around for all to see. This ties into my next section- modesty for my husband, but we will get to that. So many girls get a bitter taste for modesty because it makes them feel ashamed of their body and insecure. I had to learn to be proud of my body because God made it uniquely for me. This doesn't mean I showed it off in skimpy clothing, but instead I felt strong, beautiful, and confident with no makeup on and in a t-shirt and jeans. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with wanting to dress up a little! But there is beautiful and sexy and then there is revealing and sex appealing. I'd rather be sexy for my class and confidence rather than sexy for my curves and fake face of makeup. I love referring to the passage where God tells us not to cause our brothers or sisters in Christ to stumble. OR the passage where God tells us that by allowing our sibling in Christ to Sin without confrontation, we are committing the sin along side them. We are not supposed to lust over someone who is not ours, and by 'ours' that means our SPOUSE (married in the eyes of God). So by wearing a "sexy/revealing" outfit out to a club, I am not only attracting the attention of my husband, but the attention of other men- possibly causing them to lust over a married woman, and sin. The idea of causing someone to sin, simply by what I am wearing, breaks my heart. This leads back to my previous statement about being a constant billboard for God.  Be honest, if you saw me in a club, showing cleavage, ass, and more- would you think I was a daughter of Christ? This body that God gave me, was intended to someday be a gift that I could give to my husband on our wedding night. A part of me that I can tell him is his, and only his. That gift seems a lot less special if I am giving a sneak peek for the world to see.
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This leads to my final topic- Modesty for my Husband. Now before you stop reading and say, "I'm not married yet, this does not apply to me." you could not be more wrong. I wish someone had taught me this before I was married. God tells us to love our spouse all the days of our life, before we meet them and after. You do this by saving yourself for each other- both physically and emotionally. This is definitely something that is frowned upon in todays culture and viewed as "impossible", but I promise you it is entirely possible with Christ's help and SO worth it! If you spend your life loving your future husband or wife, you will find yourself considering them in everything you do. Asking yourself, "If I met them today, or if they could watch a movie of my life, would I be embarrassed for them to see this or know this?" My Motto to this day is, if I don't want Dante to see or know about this- should I really be doing it? If people had this kind of mentality throughout their life, there would be a lot more long lasting and true Christ written love stories in the world. (I would suggest reading the book, "When God Writes your love Story" for better examples and explanations.) Now, it is no secret that Dante, my husband, is a very jealous man. He has always made it very clear how proud he is to call me his wife and does not have any problems confronting a man who gets a little "to friendly" with me. He also has no problem telling me when he is uncomfortable with what I am wearing and as his wife and a daughter of Christ, I need to respect those feelings- even if I think they are ridiculous sometimes. If what I am wearing is hurting my husband and causing others around me to sin and stumble, then is it really worth wearing it? When we first got together, Dante could not believe that I was a virgin, let alone that I had never been kissed before. Looks wise, I definitely was not his type. I didn't dress to impress- I dressed for comfort. This opened a door for us to become friends before we began dating. Instead of him seeing my body first and personality later- he got to know the real Ela first. Dante told me later on that even though it was hard and frustrating waiting till our wedding day, he loved being able to say that I was his, and only his. That no other man ever had my heart or body the way he was about to. He has told me multiple times that he wishes he could have given me the same gift because it was definitely one that he cherishes. Folks, that alone, was enough to make waiting and saving myself well worth it.
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Modesty is many things- but "optional" or "something that I only do when I feel like it"- is not one of them. As Christian men and women, we should always be aware of what we are wearing, and who we are looking at. Are we admiring the beauty of another- or lusting over their sexual appeal. Are we dressing in a way that honors God, ourselves, and our spouse, or in a way that will make someone think they are gonna get laid. Yes, it is a constant conscious effort to dress modestly, but it should be a constant conscious effort to be a good representative of God.
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[As a final side note- I also wanted to address the fact that as a soon-to-be-mother, I want my son to grow up and see that women are more than their bodies and men are stronger than their lust. I want him to see that Daddy thinks Mommy is beautiful because of her love for Christ and vice versa. How can I expect my son to grow up and find a Godly woman whom he can have a Christ written love story with, if he does not have parents who can be the example of that story for him?]